Jess and her 80 lb lab mix Bucky are out for their morning stroll, when Bucky spots another dog, let’s call her Tilly, and her human walking towards them on the path.
Tilly is an elderly Golden retriever with a very busy owner, let’s call her Mel, who uses their walking time as an opportunity to catch up with friends on Facetime.
Jess chuckles and shouts “I guess he wants to say hi!” as Bucky drags her across the path and forcibly shoves his nose into Tilly’s backside, smashing into her arthritic hips.
Mel turns her phone to capture this “adorable” interaction, as terrified Tilly presses against her leg, gazing up at her, wondering why she isn’t putting a stop to this invasive interaction.
Once Bucky has sniffed his fill, he and Jess resume walking, leaving Tilly to limp home behind busy Mel. If Tilly had been a different sort of dog, this story would have ended in an ER Vet clinic with a sobbing Jess.
While the clueless humans stand by and marvel at how adorable Bucky is, poor Tilly is being assaulted by his nose. In dog language, Bucky’s behavior is far from adorable, and is in fact, dangerous, confrontational and extremely rude.
However, because Tilly is a more docile type of dog, she refrained from snapping at him and instead looked to her owner for protection.
Because of her sweet temperament, she didn’t growl or snap so Mel never realized how unsafe Tilly felt and failed to react appropriately. Now Tilly has learned that her owner cannot protect her and Bucky has learned his rude behavior is acceptable.
Reason #1: In dog language, charging into another dog's space is rude behavior.
Charging forward, head first into another dog’s face or backside, is extremely rude, abrasive, and threatening behavior. Though Bucky may very well be a sociable dog, this type of behavior is not socially acceptable in dog culture.
On leash greetings such as this are doomed from the start. Because each dog is on a leash, they are physically unable to participate in a polite dog greeting ritual.
A polite dog greeting is a graceful dance of circling, mutual rear sniffing, with lots of space and breaks in between.
As humans who routinely participate in these direct, forward-facing greetings, the notion that this is unacceptable dog behavior, is completely foreign to most people.
Because of this fundamental misunderstanding, we as humans are constantly putting our dogs in horribly uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situations.
Reason #2: Leashes make dogs feel vulnerable.
When a dog encounters a potential threat, such as another dog, they instinctively have three options to choose from: fight, flight or freeze.
During on leash greetings, we have disabled their preferred option, flight, and force our dogs to choose from the remaining two options, fight or freeze.
More docile dogs, like Tilly, will choose the freeze option, and remain still during these tense interactions, all the while desperately hoping their human steps up to defend them.
Other dogs with less tolerance, will choose the third option: fight. Dogs that choose this option are yanked away, loudly scolded by their owners and called a very bad boy for defending themselves against this intrusive violation of personal space.
Reason #3: In dog language, walking directly towards an approaching dog is confrontational and dangerous.
Human walkways typically consist of a relatively narrow path with walking traffic coming from both directions. However, in dog world, polite dogs avoid walking straight into another dog’s path and instead give lots of space so each dog feels safe and unthreatened.
When we force dogs to walk towards each other on a narrow pathway, it creates a tense situation.
Because they are tethered to you, they are completely reliant on you to ensure their safety during these awkward passes. Instead of protecting and defending them, humans make the situation worse by encouraging and engaging in these horrifically awkward on leash greetings.
Reason #4: Many dogs don't "want to say hi".
Dogs like Bucky are the bane of existence for every owner of a fearful, dog aggressive, or reactive dog. Months of progress and careful counter- conditioning can be destroyed in a moment when a completely avoidable fight breaks out because a Bucky dragged himself over to “just say hi”.
Perhaps you have been lucky enough to never own a dog that struggles to cope in the human world, but let me assure you there a thousands of dogs and owners out there who worked for months just to be able to go for a walk in public. A simple pleasure you take for granted. Just like Bucky, these dogs deserve to go for a walk in peace, uninterrupted by rude advances.
Reason #5 : Dogs do not gain anything positive from greeting strange dogs on walks.
Dogs do not gain anything positive from on leash greetings. These brief awkward meetings are not socialization nor do they meet a dog friendly dog’s need for social interactions. Even if both dogs happen to be friendly and even compatible, the walking path is not the place for dogs to play.
If you want to help your dog fill their social cup, plan playdates or enroll them in a high quality dog daycare. Walks are not the right situation or environment for dogs to socialize. On leash greetings between strange dogs are hazardous and deeply unnecessary.
Instead of participating in on leash awkwardness, help your dog feel safe on walks by placing your body between them and the oncoming dog. This increases the distance between the two dogs, so they can pass by peacefully. You are also using your body to block any hard stares being exchanged between dogs.
Do not allow your dog to walk into another dog’s space and initiate an on leash greeting, even if the dog appears friendly.
Prevent your dog from forming this compulsive and dangerous habit by encouraging calm, uninterested behavior when in the presence of strange dogs.
Be respectful of other owners and dogs that may be struggling by giving all dogs as much space as possible and minding your own business.
Save social interactions for more appropriate times and embrace walks as one on one bonding time with you and your dog.
I’ve always been hesitant to let my dog greet others during walks because you never know how the other dog might react. It’s good to know that keeping a little distance is actually a safer choice for both dogs. Thanks for sharing! 🙂